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Below are the 42 most recent journal entries recorded in Adam's LiveJournal:

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Friday, February 15th, 2008
8:07 pm
He's baaack!
This is obligatory, so let's get it out of the way:
I haven't written in this damn thing for a loooong ass time. There. That's out of the way-sorry, it was traditional.

What with the internet evolving the way it has, I don't know how many obselete people out there actually still use livejournal. Likely this entry will go unread save for a very strict few that still read their friends page.

So here's what's happened since my last real entry.

I am twenty years old now. I'm in the midst of my fourth semester at SRJC, still heavy into acting and choir classes. I have an extremely hot but very dogmatic psych teacher who really irks me. I'm playing Dr. Spivey in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (Opening March 7th at the JC! COMECOMECOME!). I'm dating Celeste, and she's living with me part time and going to the JC with me. And we are very much in love and just celebrated ten months together.
And I'm at rehearsal after having delivered my few lines for act II and snuck off to get online.

I'll write a more detailed entry soon-I've decided I've gone too long without writing at least SOMEthing every day.

(1 rant | Bitch and moan PLEASE!)

Thursday, October 11th, 2007
10:52 am
My supercool updated list of London shows (through 10/9/07)
Hey guys! Just decided to brag about all the cool shit I'm doing in London! Here is the list of shows/events I've seen in the mere 34 days I've been gone:

Dance Concerts:
* Satisfaction
*Stomp

Raves:
* Earthdance
* Astral Phoenix
* Acid Monkey
* Project Synergy

Musical Theatre:
* Chicago
* The Boyfriend
* Cabaret
* Mary Poppins
* Cabaret (Yes, again)
* Tony! The Blair Musical
* Fiddler on the Roof
* Avenue Q
* The Phantom of the Opera
* Bad Girls: The Musical

Nonmusical Theatre:
* In Celebration
* The 39 Steps
* The Merchant of Venice
* Lone Star
* Private Wars
* Saint Joan
* Private Peaceful
* Hamlet
* Shadowlands
* Macbeth

(Bitch and moan PLEASE!)

Wednesday, September 5th, 2007
9:20 am
My LONDON Contact Info
I am going to London on September 6th, on a Study Abroad program. I will not be home until December 7th. If you wanna keep in touch (and I would love to hear from you all SO much), you can write me a facebook or myspace message, or be a man (or woman) and do it the RIGHT way, by writing me at

Adam Buxbaum

AIFS Student Centre

Dilke house

Malet Street

London

WC1E7JN

England



...I will return every single letter I get. I'll probably write a letter just about every night, so if you don't want me to lavish all my attention onto my girlfriend and my parents, you better write!

(Bitch and moan PLEASE!)

Thursday, May 3rd, 2007
10:22 am
Things that need to be said

...dammit, I couldn't resist this spam, so here it is..wow, I got carried away. If you think you're on this, you're probably wrong. Or you may be right, but misinterpreting it. Or, you may be spot-on, but understand that I say these things with love, and the reason I don't say them to you is because I care about your feelings. You're probably wrong though.:
Things Need To Be Said
1) List 20-ish (whoops, 65-ish) things that you want to say to people, but never will.

2) Don't say who they are.

3) Never discuss it again.

1. Over the last few years I've grown to love you more and more, but I've also realized you aren't really more mature than I am, as I'd always assumed.

2. I used to be closer to you than anyone, but things have changed, and you live in the past a little too much.

3. You're one of the smarter people I know, but you need to understand how completely socially awkward you are.

4. I hate you, and if I could find a way to have you hurt without any consequences at all I would probably do it.

5. You're an artist, and you're wasting yourself. Take better care of your mind and body. I worry that you don't care enough about yourself.

6. I respect you more than you think-you get on my nerves constantly but you know how to make beautiful music.

7. You aren't the teacher-get over yourself, and please stop trying to jump in.

8. I don't know if you know what I've come to suspect you know, but if you do, I'm sorry. You didn't deserve it.

9. I don't know you very well, and you've always been nice to me, but you can be extremely frightening and really distasteful.

10. You annoy me, pester me, make me feel guilty, but it wouldn't be the same place without you and your unending energy.

11. I didn't know how cool you were until the second half of our friendship-be very very careful, though, because I don't want it to get you in trouble.

12. You aren't discreet enough, and you're lucky I'm trustworthy, because if you had trusted someone else they could have robbed you blind.

13. Even though it's dead and over, I still have lingering resentment at you for what you tried to do around prom.

14. I'm falling for you way too fast too.

15. You have good intentions, and you're SO AGGRAVATING! Stop trying to be funny or impress people, because it comes off as pathetic and needy.

16. I know you care more about yourself than most other people, but I wish you'd pay me back.

17. You didn't deserve her. You're a nice guy, but you never did, never will.

18. You are a tease. And I think you know it. And you'll never admit it, but you like it.

19. You are so stuck up. Even more than you ever were before. You have a fake 'nice' mask, but your ego doesn't fit under it.

20. Stop being so emo, and realize you have little to no talent.

21. You are the only person in a long time I've been completely intimidated by, but it's been good for me, so thanks. When you pay me a compliment I know you really mean it.

22. You aren't as mature as you think you are. You are just as young as I know you are. Don't try to fit into a box you aren't ready for.

23. I know your no bullshit attitude isn't to be mean, but you hurt people's feelings on a daily basis and sometimes make me feel like a worm.

24. I heard something about you and I'm not sure whether or not to believe it, and to what extent.

25. I can't tell if you're angry at me, wrapped up in your own life, or just plain lost your cell phone, but I miss you.

26. I know you, I think, as well as I know myself, you know me just as well. We're equals. Every time I start to feel better or smarter than you, you surprise me and I realize I'm not. Every time I start to think you're better or smarter than me, you surprise me and I realize you're not. When one of us is unsure the other is positive. That's why there's two of us.

27. It's nice to have you home. It must have been hell living there.

28. I wish I'd been there to see you off. I hope you'll write me back, brother.

29. I didn't know you as well as I thought I did. Still don't. You caught on to that a lot faster than I did, and I don't blame you for what you did.

30. It's too bad it was nothing while it lasted, or it really could have been something.

31. I feel like you're putting him into a really unsafe position, and I know it's not your fault, but i resent you for it all the same. And I wish you were more clever.

32. You aren't going to be elected president. You're too much of a cold fish.

33. Man you think you're the best thing since sliced bread, and all it is, is really funny. You're kind of like a sheep. You don't get social cues. But you're really fun to have around, and I'd have far less adventures if you weren't so willing to dive in headfirst.

34. You want so much to fit in I don't have the heart to tell you everyone finds you irritating.

35. You made debate more pleasant this year. I'm glad I met you, and I agree with my partner's assessment of you.

36. If you hadn't been so cute I'd have given up in confused frustration long ago. As it was, you managed to string me along for years without trying.

37. I don't like your new hairdo. I think it was prettier when you weren't trying to be insane with it.

38. I still can't tell you apart.

39. You helped him cheat on her. That wasn't cool at all.

40. Everyone knows you're gay, and we don't mind or care.

41. I don't like you one bit when you get drunk. And you aren't sexy when you stumble.

42. Personally I never thought we looked alike, but everyone else seems to think so.

43. Man, I've never trusted someone as much as I've trusted you. We lived real life together.

44. You were the awkward third wheel, and I liked the other two better.

45. Your brother is a lot cooler than you are.

46. When you came out of the closet I wasn't a bit surprised. We grew up together and I missed you this year.

47. If you aren't a virgin anymore, there's someone I need to punch, hard.

48. We used to talk on the phone for hours. I wish you'd give me a ring.

49. Okay, you're politically savve, but sometimes you're just plain offensive in how easily offended you get.

50. God you're ditzy-take two mature pills and call me in the morning

51. WUV you, and wish I could have gotten as close to you as it feels like we should have been.

52. You're a dumb stoner, and you don't know anything else.

53. Ah, what a charming asshole.

54. You were the first slutty girl I knew in high school. It's kinda funny. I thought you were cool, but everyone else didn't like you. You are pretty shallow.

55. I don't know why I'm so fascinated with you, but you pop up at the most intriguing times, and considering the two different types of people we are, I'm amazed that I've spent as much time with you as we have.

56. My relationship with you is becoming awkward. I don't know what to tell you. And I gave you credit for being more with it than I should have.

57. I had the fattest crush on you as a freshman...eventually I realized how much of a diva you are.

58. Wish I coulda seen the nude scene.

59. I used to fuck with you on AIM, but I got to like you more and more as time went on. You're actually pretty cool now.

60. Man, you were the weirdest person...I had a lot of admiration for you, but I never really knew you, or the reasons I respected you so much. When you tried to kill yourself I wanted to go visit you but I wasn't supposed to know about it, so I couldn't.

61. I wish you'd stop telling that stupid story, seeing as you're the one that asked me to get them in the first place.

62. You could sweet talk a banana from a monkey, my friend. Don't abuse the power, as you have in the past.

63. I used to rely on you. Now I hardly see you. I bet your kisses are still dyslexic.

64. We weren't as close as I thought we were. You aren't as nice as I thought you were.

65. You were the first free spirit I knew. You're probably a lot of the reason I am who I am today.

66. You used to be an emotional roller-coaster, and I don't know why I stayed friends with you after all our fights. But it turned out to be completely worth it, and I wish I saw you more often.

67. You gave yourself so much damn credit, and you didn't earn it. You can't write well. Live with it.

68. You liked me too much and it scared me off. I also took advantage of it at points, and I'm sorry.

69. All you need is some self-confidence and some life experience, and you will go far in life.

(2 rants | Bitch and moan PLEASE!)

Monday, April 23rd, 2007
12:11 am

(Bitch and moan PLEASE!)

Monday, March 26th, 2007
6:33 pm
The Heart Bleeds Blue

My new show!
Official summary and such:
A theatre production presented by the Jade Dragon Theatre Company at Santa Rosa Junior College,Newman Auditorium, 1501 Mendocino Avenue, Santa Rosa. The play touches on issues such as HIV, rape, living in the closet, parenthood, and dysfunctional family. Written and directed by 22 year-old student, Lito Briano. Showings: Sat, March 31 7:00 pm, Sun, April 1, 2:00 pm and Sat, April 7, 2:00pm & 7:00 pm $10 general $8 Students and seniors. The play revolves around Bernard O'Neill, a middle-aged American everyman livng in the peaceful Northern California town of Autumn Glen. O'Neil lives with his wife, teenage daughter, and runs a general store. Bernard, however, has a secret life. One fateful night, at a gay bar in San Francisco's Castro district, he meets an attractive young man named Mike. Enthralled by Mike's surprising maturity, he engages in a passionate love affair. When Bernard's daughter falls in love with the troubled son of his ex-wife, a conflict evolves between the families and a terrilbe tragedy befalls Mike which causes Bernard's life to take a dramatic turn and compel him to make powerful decisions that creates a domino effect and unleases dangerous secrets that affect the lives of everyone around him.

(2 rants | Bitch and moan PLEASE!)

Sunday, February 25th, 2007
3:55 am
Tipsy Travesties
I had six shots of peach liquor about an hour ago, and then I recorded some free-association, call-it-what you like...poetry, rambling, lyrics...anyway, here's the direct transcript, and if there are many typos, blame the alcohol. And then me. Shouldn't drink.

The Butterfly

Fly, fly, the sky's in your eyes, don't hide little butterfly, crawl out of your coccoon for you will be beautiful

and not just a measly ugly little caterpillar

that crawled in from the dump heap overflowing over there

sent by Jean Julia who would not take the trash to the mortuary

for it to be buried along with the hopes and dreams of thousand of poor starving citizens in Eastonia

and the Eastonian government will oppress them with spears and mallets and guns and knives

knifes that will cut and tear the flesh like a thousand stinging tarantulas and scorpions

scorpions that you find under the bark of logs in the natural greenery and beauty of the forest

so true and so piney

which will be influenced and illuminated by the Illuminati in the secret papers governing such ordinances thank you.


We As the Collective
If one is two and two is three then can it be deduced that three is me? for I am you and you are she and she is he and he is we

we as the collective of the people of the world

we as the collective of the spirit of the universe

we as the collective must fight to preserve and protect the integrity and the honor of the illuminated fallacy which is that of logic and truth set before us

they would eliminate logic and truth

for they have no logic and no minds

but unfortunately they are not we and therefore they are inconvievable and you cannot concieve them therefore they do not exist

there is no they and there is no their

there is only a we and a our and so there is only truth

and there is only rock hard solid illuminated truth set before us that we can agree with or dispell as myth.


I have a couple more, but typing both of those without fucking up was hard work. I'll post more later.

(Bitch and moan PLEASE!)

Friday, December 15th, 2006
7:20 pm
Comment and I'll give you a letter. Then you have to list 10 things you love that begin with that letter. After, post this in your journal and give out some letters of your own.

"L" in no particular order

1. Love
2. Lemonade
3. Les Miserables
4. Little Shop of Horrors
5. Ladies
6. Luna (The moon)
7. Laughing
8. Land of Oz
9. Lunchtime
10. Lotus flowers

(2 rants | Bitch and moan PLEASE!)

Wednesday, October 11th, 2006
5:27 pm
Corporal Bummer
I'll tell you, there just might be (as anyone who read 'Melencholy Elephants' will attest) a finite number of jokes out there...
I was dealt a major ego bummer the other day when my creativity was effectively squelched-or more accurately, had its nose thumbed at
I was driving around stoned the other day with my friend Jessica, and we saw two or three vultures circling a chunk of roadkill. We were out in the boonies with no one else on the road, so she pulled over, fascinated, and pulled out her camera. She snapped a couple decent shots, and a lightbulb went on over my head. I reached up and switched it off and shared my revelation with Jess-an idea for a lovely pun that had sprung into my mind in the format of a Far Side style cartoon-a vulture going on an airplane carrying two dead mice and being told firmly, "I'm sorry sir, but you're only allowed to bring one piece of carrion luggage aboard."

I thought I was a genius, for a brief few days...

then I was browsing jokes online and lo! and behold, found that alike minds really do think great.

(Bitch and moan PLEASE!)

5:19 pm
Unfair!
I'll tell you, there just might be (as anyone who read 'Melencholy Elephants' will attest) a finite number of jokes out there...
I was dealt a major ego bummer the other day when my creativity was effectively squelched-or more accurately, had its nose thumbed at
I was driving around stoned the other day with my friend Jessica, and we saw two or three vultures circling a chunk of roadkill. We were out in the boonies with no one else on the road, so she pulled over, fascinated, and pulled out her camera. She snapped a couple decent shots, and a lightbulb went on over my head. I reached up and switched it off and shared my revelation with Jess-an idea for a lovely pun that had sprung into my mind in the format of a Far Side style cartoon-a vulture going on an airplane carrying two dead mice and being told firmly, "I'm sorry sir, but you're only allowed to bring one piece of carrion luggage aboard."

I thought I was a genius, for a brief few days...

then I was browsing jokes online and lo! and behold, found that alike minds really do think great.

(Bitch and moan PLEASE!)

Tuesday, October 10th, 2006
9:21 pm
My Spider visit
So yesterday I skipped classes early and hopped a bus to San Francisco to see Spider Robinson in all his glory at the Booksmith on Haight Street. A little before the event I crossed the street and went to a (much better) bookstore that carried used stuff to see if I could find a couple more titles to get signed, besides my personal collection of about 9 books, plus Variable Star that I had just bought. As luck would have it, I found three books, including a worn copy of Callahan's Crosstime Saloon, which (I discovered after buying it for only $3) was already autographed, maybe decades ago, to some guy named Josh.
Anyway, the event was surprisingly small-for all the honor and prestige Spider's accumulated over the years, he drew a crowd of less than thirty-no complaints here, it was very intimate- all of whom were much older than me (at 18, I was the youngest in the room)...Spider read a bit from Variable Star, and then whipped out his Lady macbeth and played us a song 'To the Stars', which he dueted with his wife Jeanne...he told a story about that-apparently David Crosby wrote him a fan letter, and through the friendship that developed, David asked if he could help in any way with VS...to which Spider responded 'well, I have these lyrics I put in the beginning which i haven't had time to put a melody to...'
Long story short, he not only wrote a book with Heinlein, he wrote a song with Crosby.

I had a lovely conversation with some folks in line, including a brief meeting with zyxwvut..
when I showed Spider the pre-signed book, he signed it again, saying that he had "Signed and cosigned it, now you can go off on a tangent"
So I'll be looking for a tan gent to go off on, maybe at the old beaches (or the newer ones, the sons of beaches)..
I also got to fulfill my latest dream-I told Spider a pun he hadn't heard before.
Goes something like this:
"There once was a wicked king who decreed throughout the land that all his subjects must pay him an exorbitant tax, or they would be put to death. One of his advisors, a count, refused to pay, so the king threw him into a dungeon and demanded that he pay within seven days or he would be promptly executed on the morning of the seventh day.

Each day the king would go into the dungeon and ask "Are you ready to pay the tax?"
To which the condemned count would always say, "No!" and spit in the king's direction.
On the last day the count was marched to the public square where a hooded executioner forced his head onto a big black chopping block. The king asked him one more time to capitulate, but the count refused.

Finally, as the executioner swung down the hatchet, the count shouted, "Wait! I'll pay!"-but it was too late. An instant later his head rolled onto the chopping block.

The moral of the story?Collapse )
Spider's response- the best flattery he could have given: A truly pained groan, followed by the sound of his head hitting the pile of books he had just signed for me.

So yeah-A monday evening truly well-spent.

(Bitch and moan PLEASE!)

Friday, October 6th, 2006
4:54 pm

(1 rant | Bitch and moan PLEASE!)

Tuesday, October 3rd, 2006
4:10 pm
I expect everyone (or at least everyone near the vicinity of Santa Rosa) to come see my play...(and we open on FRIDAY [with a free preview THURSDAY]!)

The Last Days of Judas Iscariot...it's a courtroom play in Purgatory where they retry Judas (guy who sold out Jesus)...they bring in all sorts of historical figures, like Freud and Mother Theresa...Pontius Pilate and Jesus and Satan...

it's laugh out loud funny a lot of the time, but completely moving..there are scenes that still make me cry every time I see them. There's also a lot of intense scenes, intense language...you'll walk out of the theatre pretty shaken if we do it right.

I also have a relatively large part..first I'm St. Matthew with a fat monologue, and then I play Caiphas the Elder, who Judas sold Jesus too (and I gave Jesus to the romans)...I get cross-examined and have an emotional breakdown and shout at everyone.
So yeah. Good stuff.
(and the following is my write-up for the JC paper)


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Judas on Trial


Who was responsible for the death of Jesus of Nazareth? Was it Judas Iscariot? Pontius Pilate? Caiaphas the Elder? Professor Plum in the conservatory with the candlestick? In their first show of the year, the SRJC theatre department deals with this question and more, in Stephen Adly Guirgis’ new play, The Last Days of Judas Iscariot.


Director Laura Downing-Lee says she found the play because one of her students was passing around the script to all his friends. She sat down to read it one day in the Bear’s Den, and began to weep before getting past the monologue on the very first page. “There I was, in the middle of the Bear’s Den with tears streaming down my face,” she recalls. Ten pages in she began to laugh out loud. “If the tears didn’t get me funny looks, the laughter did,” she says. “People were looking at me like ‘who is this crazy woman?’”


Last Days is a show about Judas Iscariot - the famous villain who betrayed Jesus Christ for thirty pieces of silver and subsequently committed suicide. The show is set in a courtroom in, “Hope…located right over here in downtown purgatory. (Guirgis.)” Judas is summoned from hell in a catatonic stupor so his soul can be retried.


The appellate lawyer, played by Tessa Rissacher, is a female New Yorker named Fabiana Aziza Cunningham. She defends Judas throughout the show, advocating mercy and forgiveness for his soul, while struggling with her own personal beliefs about God.


The prosecuting attorney, played by Khalid Shatoya, is an oversexed flatterer named El-Fayoumy. He throws the show into sharp comic relief, expostulating about tapioca pudding, flirting with Cunningham, and complimenting the fashion sense of Satan, who makes an appearance as a witness.


Last Days is a scrapbook-style show, with an eclectic range of characters and witnesses. Some are historical figures, like Sigmund Freud and Mother Theresa, who both take the stand. Some are religious figures, like the apostles, Matthew, Peter and Thomas. Biblical villains are portrayed in a new light, including Caiaphas the Elder, who turned Jesus over to the Romans, Pontius Pilate who ordered Jesus’s crucifixion, and even Satan himself, who claims he loves God: “I love God because he is All-Powerful and All-Forgiving…I love God because God loves me.”


Although the play deals with historical and religious content, it is still a very contemporary play. The characters all speak with modern day street vocabularies-Saint Monica, for example, speaks with the voice of an urban hooker, sprinkling profanities liberally into her monologues. It also addresses current issues. The Arab character El Fayoumy gripes that he was sent to hell unfairly: “I attribute the mix-up to the Americanization of the afterlife-completely understandable in lieu of recent events.” Jesus Christ himself asserts, “I was in that cave with Osama, and on that plane with Mohamed Atta.”


This show has widely been labeled controversial. It is both a lampoon and a respectful homage to religion. It does contain intense scenes, including very adult language and subject matter. The play is recommended for high-school ages and up because of its graphic content.


The Last Days of Judas Iscariot opens on Friday, October 6th, with performance dates on October 6, 7, 11, 12, 13, 14*, 14, 15*. Curtain time is at 8:00 PM, except the matinees (*) which begin at 2:00. Tickets are $8-15 and can be purchased in the SRJC Box Office in Burbank Auditorium.

(Bitch and moan PLEASE!)

Friday, September 29th, 2006
10:43 am
...um.
Found this somewhere else...
If there is someone on your friends list you would like to take you,strip you naked, tie you to a bed post, lick you until you scream, then fuck you until both of you are senseless and unable to fuck anymore,then wait five minutes and do it all over again, then post this exact sentence in *your* journal

(1 rant | Bitch and moan PLEASE!)

Tuesday, August 29th, 2006
6:09 pm
10 things I learned today
1. The Doyle Scholarship will by NO MEANS be enough to cover all your class and textbook costs.
2. If you don't fill out the little orange card, they won't give you money.
3. Hergie has a free second period.
4. Don't ever run from the cops. Especially if you're just smoking a cigarette.
5. Freshmen really do get younger every year.
6. My English teacher cracked up at himself 64 times during a two hour class. I think he's cracking up.
7. The 'depressed profess' also punctuated 83 sentences at the end with 'okay?'
8. I'm now enrolled in 18.5 units
9. Don't count on the bus being on time.
10. Pack light, hope for early snow.

(1 rant | Bitch and moan PLEASE!)

Saturday, August 19th, 2006
4:01 pm
In my dream, I stayed up all night and watched the sun rise over a range of mountains. In reality, I was asleep on my floor. And when I woke up it was foggy.

(2 rants | Bitch and moan PLEASE!)

Tuesday, August 1st, 2006
6:57 am
Finally wrote a new song!
Improvised the lyrics out loud walking home late at night, and I got home and worked them into a passable rhyme scheme...if you wann hear how it sounds, make me sing it for you. I love to show off.

Unshakeable Karma

When I was just an infant
though that's early to start
I was a chubby babe who spoke straight from the heart
when I was sad I'd cry, when I was
mad I'd yell
Now I'm a skinny guy but still assertive as hell
because I'm
skating through life with some unshakeable karma and I
know who I am and that is right on par and I can
look far back and still see
me-e-e-e
cause I'm skating through life and I feel
totally free.

When I grew to a toddler and I
started to crawl, did I go
very far or run straight
to a wall
no that's just not not my style,
a mirror was where I sped
and seven years of bad luck fell on to my head
because I'm skating through life with some unshakeable karma and I
didn't scratch and there was not a scar but that's to be expected when you're
me-e-e-e
cause I'm skating through life and i feel totally free

Good or bad, it's all your call
It's luck both ways, I get it all
I see a windfall then I fall
I'm like a weighted lotto ball

When I passed ten
I went to camp
and boy was I a scamp
I came back yearly, clowning
nearly burned it down and
met a girl who gave me chills and
lovesick fever,
dumped on christmas eve
and I know why, because I'm
skating through life with some unshakeable karma and I
know where i'm at but not just where you are but I
know I'll find you and you'll find
me-e-e-e

cause I'm skating through life and I feel totally free
The year I turned 18 I thought I'd
puff some green well I tried
quietly but police spotted me
so I got hauled to jail and had to
put up bail and get a
card for me so I puff
legally because I'm
skating through life with some unshakeable karma and I
know that someday I will be a star but
stars don't have the luck like
me-e-e-e
but I'm skating through life and I feel totally free

Good or bad, it's all your call
It's luck both ways, I get it all
I see a windfall then I fall
I'm like a weighted lotto ball

No matter how depressing life is
how repressed the strife is
I will always bounce back
my whole deck is stacked
the ace is in the back
a smile and then a smack
sunshine and hail above I
get them both because I'm
skating through life with some unshakeable karma and I
don't drive yet but I will ride the car exactly
where it goes the trouble is I
don't know exactly where the car is taking
me-e-e-e
but I'm skating through life and I feel totally free

(Bitch and moan PLEASE!)

Saturday, July 8th, 2006
5:16 pm
Jail
So I got arrested last night after smoking a joint in the car with a friend- I got booked into jail and stayed there 4 hours until my friends and parents came up with $2000 to bail me out. I go to court on July 31- I face felony charges for possession of concentrated marijuana (hash) and selling marijuana (they'll never make it stick). Anyway, I've got a long month ahead of me. I think I can beat the charges though-especially since I was never mirandized. So yeah. How was your day?

(4 rants | Bitch and moan PLEASE!)

Wednesday, April 12th, 2006
11:42 am
Jackass of the Day
Tom Green:
"The victims aren't really victimized in a way that it comes off totally mean-spirited or negative, ... It's a fun, fun victimization, if that's possible."

(4 rants | Bitch and moan PLEASE!)

Tuesday, April 11th, 2006
6:20 am
Badass of the Day
Chita Rivera:
“I give credit for that to all my teachers and all my choreographers, but also to myself – for listening to them."

(Bitch and moan PLEASE!)

Monday, April 10th, 2006
6:16 am
Jackass of the Day
Toni Morrison:
"I really think the range of emotions and perceptions I have had access to as a black person and as a female person are greater than those of people who are neither...."

(2 rants | Bitch and moan PLEASE!)

Sunday, April 9th, 2006
8:20 pm
Badass of the Day
Kanye West: "George Bush doesn't care about black people!"

(8 rants | Bitch and moan PLEASE!)

Saturday, April 8th, 2006
8:30 pm
Jackass of the Day
Andrew Jackson:
"No one need think that the world can be ruled without blood. The civil sword shall and must be red and bloody. "

(Bitch and moan PLEASE!)

Friday, April 7th, 2006
8:14 pm
Badass of the Day
Al Gore:
"I think George W. Bush has a warm, engaging personality. But, you know, the presidency is more than just a popularity contest. "

(Bitch and moan PLEASE!)

Thursday, April 6th, 2006
8:11 pm
Jackass of the Day
John Walker Lindh:
"I tell you, to be honest, every single one of us, without any exaggeration, every single one of us was 100 percent sure that we would all be... all be martyred, but you know, Allah chooses to take a person's life when he chooses."

(Bitch and moan PLEASE!)

Wednesday, April 5th, 2006
8:06 pm
Badass of the Day
Frank Zappa:
"The essence of Christianity is told to us in the Garden of Eden history. The fruit that was forbidden was on the Tree of Knowledge. The subtext is, All the suffering you have is because you wanted to find out what was going on. You could be in the Garden of Eden if you had just kept your fucking mouth shut and hadn't asked any questions."

(Bitch and moan PLEASE!)

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006
8:03 pm
Jackass of the Day
Zacarias Moussaoui:
“I was not 9/11 material, but a wanna-be post-9/11 terrorist”

(Bitch and moan PLEASE!)

Monday, April 3rd, 2006
6:32 pm
Badass of the Day
Rod Serling:
"It may be said with a degree of assurance that not everything that meets the eye is as it appears. "

(Bitch and moan PLEASE!)

Sunday, April 2nd, 2006
6:27 pm
Jackass of the Day
Ted Bundy:
"We serial killers are your sons, we are your husbands, we are everywhere. And there will be more of your children dead tomorrow"

(1 rant | Bitch and moan PLEASE!)

Saturday, April 1st, 2006
1:56 pm
Badass of the Day
Immortal Technique (born Felipe Coronel):
"They bombed innocent people, tryin' to murder Saddam
When you gave him those chemical weapons to go to war with Iran
This is the information that they hold back from Peter Jennings
Cause Condoleeza Rice is just a new age Sally Hemmings"

(Bitch and moan PLEASE!)

Friday, March 31st, 2006
1:54 pm
Jackass of the Day
Condoleezza Rice:
"We need a common enemy to unite us."

(Bitch and moan PLEASE!)

Thursday, March 30th, 2006
1:52 pm
Badass of the Day
Michael Franti:
"We can bomb the world to pieces, but we can't bomb it into peace."

(Bitch and moan PLEASE!)

Wednesday, March 29th, 2006
1:45 pm
Jackass of the Day
Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld:
"We do know of certain knowledge that he [Osama Bin Laden] is either in Afghanistan, or in some other country, or dead."

(Bitch and moan PLEASE!)

Tuesday, March 28th, 2006
1:41 pm
Badass of the Day
H. L. Mencken:
"Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable."

(Bitch and moan PLEASE!)

5:22 am
Just about everything that's been bugging me
Pottyato (8:23:17 PM): Hey hey hey, dollface
jesushorseette (8:23:50 PM): hows it goin luv
Pottyato (8:25:54 PM): boredom and ever-so-slight depression
jesushorseette (8:26:02 PM): aw whys that sweet thang
Pottyato (8:26:21 PM): I dunno..no reason really
Pottyato (8:26:30 PM): my life isn't where it should be right now
jesushorseette (8:26:39 PM): howso
Pottyato (8:26:57 PM): I've become a typical drug-using-class-cutting senior
jesushorseette (8:27:14 PM): if its typical then why isnt it where it should be
Pottyato (8:27:43 PM): I've gone from wanting to go to Juliard, to NYU, to settling for SF State, to maybe going to the JC, to being worried about graduating
Pottyato (8:27:49 PM): everything's deteriorating
Pottyato (8:28:12 PM): I'm watching a sign-language video for a class I have to pass, AND pass a second level of to go to college
Pottyato (8:28:24 PM): And I don't have any clue what they're saying
Pottyato (8:28:41 PM): I never learned any decent study skills, and now its biting me in the ass
Pottyato (8:28:56 PM): I don't pay enough attention to my girlfriend
Pottyato (8:29:01 PM): I have a gambling problem
Pottyato (8:29:12 PM): which I'll tell you isn't a problem 'because I win'
jesushorseette (8:30:09 PM): im so sorry honey
Pottyato (8:30:35 PM): and by the way, I'm not miserable, these are just things that have been nagging at me
Pottyato (8:30:44 PM): probably about since I stopped smoking weed
Pottyato (8:30:55 PM): which I realized I'm completely dependent on
jesushorseette (8:31:37 PM): im sorry
Pottyato (8:31:54 PM): not to mention the fact that any day now I'll be arrested for dealing drugs cause I'm too damn careless
Pottyato (8:32:56 PM): also I'm mildly jealous of John
jesushorseette (8:33:08 PM): whys that luv?
Pottyato (8:33:16 PM): guess
Pottyato (8:33:37 PM): cause he's gorgeous, and every girl I know loves him, not a single person on earth dislikes him
jesushorseette (8:33:38 PM): i have no idea why you would be
Pottyato (8:33:45 PM): and going straight to heaven
Pottyato (8:33:52 PM): and I don't resent him at all-who could?
Pottyato (8:34:00 PM): but I'm still jealous
jesushorseette (8:34:03 PM): im sorry
Pottyato (8:34:47 PM): the worst part is, I've got a rebuttal to all of my problems
Pottyato (8:35:01 PM): I'm just too lazy to get p and change any of them
Pottyato (8:35:06 PM): or maybe too comfortable
Pottyato (8:36:00 PM): But as bad as it gets
Pottyato (8:36:06 PM): at least I'm not Allo
jesushorseette (8:36:34 PM): hahahahaha
Pottyato (8:36:43 PM): see? Why did I say that? I'm mean, too
Pottyato (8:36:59 PM): I need to get stoned
jesushorseette (8:37:00 PM): meanness is cancelled out if its funny enough
Pottyato (8:37:07 PM): but I cant
jesushorseette (8:37:08 PM): i dont know what that will help hon
Pottyato (8:37:24 PM): Well, it will make me apathetic to my problems
Pottyato (8:37:33 PM): which will solve them for the time being
Pottyato (8:37:58 PM): basicly I'm given the choice between hard work, or learning to accept the new status quo
Pottyato (8:38:14 PM): weed wont help with the former, but with the latter it works like a charm
Pottyato (8:38:32 PM): being happy with the way things are is easier
Pottyato (8:38:47 PM): then I'm presented with the problem of-what do I really want?
Pottyato (8:39:05 PM): I plan to be an actor, how will college help me?
Pottyato (8:39:19 PM): Is it absolutely necessary to move out and into the city?
Pottyato (8:39:34 PM): or is it an arbitrary goal, set by society's standards?
Pottyato (8:39:42 PM): I don't expect to be rich anyway
jesushorseette (8:39:50 PM): mmhm
Pottyato (8:39:55 PM): so what's the point?
Pottyato (8:40:09 PM): and then everything gets fuzzy and that's why I have a mild depression
Pottyato (8:40:26 PM): not so much unhappiness about the way things are, but confusion about what they will be
Pottyato (8:40:42 PM): nd vague discontent about what they should be
Pottyato (8:41:04 PM): but I'm talking your screen off-sory
jesushorseette (8:41:17 PM): no no no hon im just trying to listen because im not sure what to say
jesushorseette (8:41:20 PM): i think you're incredible
Pottyato (8:41:59 PM): That's comforting
Pottyato (8:42:11 PM): a bit
Pottyato (8:42:36 PM): then I have to deal with my relationships with people- and lord knows, I've been working on that one since kindergarten
Pottyato (8:43:06 PM): I have a being-the-center-of-attention complex which I can't (and refuse to) shake
Pottyato (8:43:35 PM): it turns a lot of people way off
jesushorseette (8:43:42 PM): psshh
Pottyato (8:43:58 PM): I'm having more and more of a hard time being tolerent of certain people that I consider my friends-mostly
Pottyato (8:44:07 PM): roxanne, irene, marley
Pottyato (8:44:18 PM): and a few others
jesushorseette (8:44:24 PM): howso?
Pottyato (8:44:44 PM): either they're blowing up at me for no good reason or they just have a bad attitude and I blow up at them
Pottyato (8:44:55 PM): they're hard to deal with on day to day basis
Pottyato (8:45:13 PM): probably because they're just as arrogant as I and I cant deal with it very well
Pottyato (8:45:19 PM): or maybe just as stubborn
Pottyato (8:45:45 PM): Irene is very good at making you feel good that she's deigned to pay attention to- and very bad if she decides to be mean
Pottyato (8:46:01 PM): she has these backhanded remarks that she just throws out casually that sting
jesushorseette (8:46:02 PM): mmhm
Pottyato (8:46:13 PM): and she doesn't let go of grudges
jesushorseette (8:46:14 PM): i know exactly what you mean
Pottyato (8:47:27 PM): and roxanne just seems to me to be really immature at times- she gets her feelings hurt easily, or decides to be mean really easily, or just doesn't understand certain social cues like 'this person is having a bad day...don't be mean to them'
jesushorseette (8:47:44 PM): yuuuup
Pottyato (8:48:03 PM): and usually I can deal with it because I kinda had to grow up a psychiatrist at telling people what they need to hear or smoothing things out
Pottyato (8:48:28 PM): but I just snap sometimes because its impossible to be the reasonable one all the time
jesushorseette (8:48:41 PM): of course
Pottyato (8:48:57 PM): and marley is an even more tough nut to crack, because I've become really close friends with him but recently, I just can't stand him
Pottyato (8:49:31 PM): He's depressed about his station in life, same way I am, about academic stuff, and probably about his love-life, though I've never breached that one with him
Pottyato (8:49:42 PM): and when he's down he takes it out on the rest of the world
jesushorseette (8:49:50 PM): :-\
Pottyato (8:49:58 PM): when I make jokes they're bad puns
Pottyato (8:50:16 PM): when he makes them, the'ye usually attempts to put down someone's intelligence to their face
jesushorseette (8:50:24 PM): ahh
Pottyato (8:50:49 PM): and he thinks that by being self-depracating he can get on his high horse and tell everyone else their shortcomings
jesushorseette (8:51:00 PM): aw
Pottyato (8:51:31 PM): I dunno...I think I'm just tired of having to 'deal with' people in general
Pottyato (8:51:43 PM): and don't get me started on that Deming girl!
Pottyato (8:51:49 PM): ;-)
jesushorseette (8:51:56 PM): ya what a dumb bitch
Pottyato (8:54:13 PM): I dunno...it's all normal life, nothing unusual
Pottyato (8:54:20 PM): I'm still trying to find my place
Pottyato (8:54:43 PM): like when I became a senior, I was really confused and happy about all the respect I got from underclassmen on principle
Pottyato (8:54:52 PM): that never happened before
Pottyato (8:55:11 PM): and trust me, you'll get it too next year-it feels like this ego rush
Pottyato (8:55:20 PM): but now I've kinda lost that
jesushorseette (8:55:21 PM): haha
Pottyato (8:55:34 PM): people figured out who I am and now its status quo again
Pottyato (8:55:41 PM): which was never a bad thing
Pottyato (8:55:54 PM): but it was nice to get that repect
Pottyato (8:56:07 PM): plus as a senior all the big fish above me are gone
Pottyato (8:56:16 PM): my role-models are disappearing or dissolving
Pottyato (8:56:31 PM): I'm realizing the people I once looked up to aren't as mature as I thought
Pottyato (8:56:49 PM): Grant and Cameron used to kind of be my idols
Pottyato (8:57:26 PM): now I look down on grant as a kind of creepy horny prick who's decent at poker but doesn't have the common sense not to invite a meth dealer with a gun into his house
Pottyato (8:57:53 PM): and cameron got swindled into spending his time and money on a pyramid scheme that he's still convinced will make him rich
Pottyato (8:58:22 PM): and in fact miles isnt the best singer in the world
jesushorseette (8:58:29 PM): nopers
Pottyato (8:58:34 PM): and neither is he the best actor
Pottyato (8:58:57 PM): same goes for joel gonzales, jessica bauman, and all those other people who I thought were just the greatest
Pottyato (8:59:11 PM): and that goes back to me
Pottyato (8:59:24 PM): when do I get made fun of by the underclassmen after I'm gone?
Pottyato (8:59:49 PM): I'm a mediocre singer/actor that just managed to stay in the program for four years
Pottyato (9:00:02 PM): (after being blacklisted sophomore year)
jesushorseette (9:00:08 PM): howso??
Pottyato (9:00:22 PM): and I got the part that I have because nobody else could do it better
Pottyato (9:00:33 PM): howso blacklisted?
jesushorseette (9:00:38 PM): (ps that means youre the *best* honey)
jesushorseette (9:00:40 PM): ya
Pottyato (9:00:58 PM): no, it means those with the ability to do it better graduated
Pottyato (9:01:16 PM): because apparently everyone thought I was creepy freshmen year
Pottyato (9:01:41 PM): because the same jokes and sexual innuendo that I make now weren't percieved as harmless when nobody knew me
Pottyato (9:01:57 PM): so a couple of the senior girls told hergie that if I was in the play, they werent
jesushorseette (9:02:06 PM): wtf
Pottyato (9:02:13 PM): and hergie knew where her priorities were
Pottyato (9:02:22 PM): notice the freshmen that were in Kiss Me Kate?
Pottyato (9:02:27 PM): yeah-no Adam
jesushorseette (9:03:24 PM): :-\
Pottyato (9:04:08 PM): also, if millions of people all over the world disagree with me- how do I know I'm not going to writhe in hellfire for being nonreligious?
Pottyato (9:04:16 PM): just one more nagging little doubt
Pottyato (9:04:47 PM): not to mention our future is down the tubes
Pottyato (9:04:59 PM): in a couple of years gass will be at $5 a gallon or more
Pottyato (9:05:04 PM): or we'll just run out
Pottyato (9:05:21 PM): ever since the 1970's, nuclear war has always been a potentiality
Pottyato (9:05:28 PM): the ozone is fucked up
Pottyato (9:05:47 PM): animals are going extinct every day
Pottyato (9:06:04 PM): more and more countries are getting more and more pissed off at ours
Pottyato (9:06:27 PM): any observing aliens have probably decided we're unfit to keep around
Pottyato (9:06:38 PM): and the republicans have taken over the government
Pottyato (9:06:53 PM): our economy is due to collapse
Pottyato (9:07:08 PM): AIDS could wipe out the world if it just gets a little smarter
Pottyato (9:07:28 PM): new and better diseases are reating themselves every day and learning to resist our medicines
Pottyato (9:07:42 PM): all out kids are addicted to screens, including my brothers
Pottyato (9:07:58 PM): and us
Pottyato (9:08:50 PM): and we've replaced all our geniuses and revolutionaries with movie stars
Pottyato (9:08:56 PM): there
Pottyato (9:09:03 PM): that felt good
jesushorseette (9:09:07 PM): im glad luv
Pottyato (9:09:14 PM): let out a little steam
jesushorseette (9:09:38 PM): im really glad you feel like you can talk to me
Pottyato (9:10:39 PM): I like you a lot
Pottyato (9:10:46 PM): for selfish reasons, of course
jesushorseette (9:10:48 PM): really?
jesushorseette (9:10:51 PM): haha
jesushorseette (9:10:54 PM): why?
Pottyato (9:11:02 PM): I probably wouldnt have even gotten to know you if you werent devestatingly attractive
jesushorseette (9:11:41 PM): really?
Pottyato (9:11:51 PM): probably
Pottyato (9:12:27 PM): I don't know whether that started when you ripped off south park in debate freshman year or when you came to the first day of drama last year in that really short skirt
jesushorseette (9:12:56 PM): both of which got me in trouble
Pottyato (9:13:04 PM): oh?
Pottyato (9:13:11 PM): well you deserved it on the speech
jesushorseette (9:13:28 PM): haha i definitly didnt fit in there
Pottyato (9:13:39 PM): I did
Pottyato (9:13:51 PM): thats another thing that'll never make me feel good
jesushorseette (9:14:03 PM): why
Pottyato (9:14:31 PM): Cause I totally clicked with that world (not that many of the debators really liked me)
Pottyato (9:14:47 PM): but I got booted from it because Williamson has the emotional maturity of a toddler
jesushorseette (9:15:07 PM): howso
Pottyato (9:15:20 PM): you never heard this story?
jesushorseette (9:15:31 PM): nope
Pottyato (9:15:45 PM): Well, okay, I didn't get booted BECAUSE she has the maturity level of a toddler, I got booted AND she does
Pottyato (9:16:02 PM): It was the last tourny of the year, last year..nat quals
Pottyato (9:16:13 PM): me and jeremy and durlester were in the same room
Pottyato (9:16:29 PM): jeremy was competing in congress in the final round, we were watching
Pottyato (9:16:56 PM): as usual, I was compiling a list of debator quotes-ridiculous things that people said
Pottyato (9:17:43 PM): at one point someone went so far as to say that Israel was a rogue nation, a terrorist state that probably had nukes under jerusalem ready to blow them if they couldnt have it for themselves
Pottyato (9:18:13 PM): as Jews, all three of us were as offended by that as if someone had spit at us and snarled an ethnic slur
Pottyato (9:18:32 PM): I shot a horrified look at jeremy, he returned it
Pottyato (9:18:48 PM): me and evan were passing the paper back and forth, scribbling notes
Pottyato (9:19:56 PM): the PO was being a prick to jeremy for some reason, not calling on him until he was the last one standing
Pottyato (9:20:15 PM): and even then, just pointing at him, making sure none of the judges heard the name 'wesler-buck'
Pottyato (9:20:26 PM): finally the end of the round came
Pottyato (9:20:33 PM): there was time for one last speech
Pottyato (9:20:56 PM): jeremy and one other dude had been standing the whole round waiting to make their second speech
Pottyato (9:21:16 PM): they had equal standing time, but I didnt know who had more questions
Pottyato (9:21:43 PM): po: "Okay, representative...Bupkiss, you have more standing time so the floor is yours"
Pottyato (9:22:08 PM): me (uncontrolled outburst): Point of clarification, they have equal standing time
Pottyato (9:22:18 PM): po: "YOU'RE OUT OF ORDER
Pottyato (9:22:33 PM): jeremy never made his speech
Pottyato (9:23:27 PM): afterwArd, apparently, two judges complained about the three of us
Pottyato (9:24:23 PM): because, aPPARNTly, jeremy and I were 'mouthing swear words back and forth', evan and I were 'loudly talking and disrupting the round', and I 'interrupted the round rudely' (the only true accusation)
Pottyato (9:25:00 PM): well that monday, williamson pulled me and jeremy out of the room separately and gave us each a letter
Pottyato (9:25:19 PM): a coldly written dismissal from the team and a request that we drop oral interp
Pottyato (9:25:33 PM): evan-
Pottyato (9:25:38 PM): nah, scot free
Pottyato (9:25:46 PM): after all, he was going to the state tournament
Pottyato (9:25:52 PM): pre-qualified
Pottyato (9:25:59 PM): no sense in booting him
Pottyato (9:26:21 PM): and eventually she let jeremy at least graduate with the team and go to the awards ceremony
Pottyato (9:26:29 PM): which was all he had left, as a senior
Pottyato (9:26:57 PM): and of course evan wouldnt havve missed much even if he had gotten kicked out-he's spending his senior year in belgium
Pottyato (9:27:19 PM): so I'm the only one that got to fAce the brunt of the consequence
Pottyato (9:27:45 PM): even though at the start of this year, I had more points and more trophies than anyone on the team
jesushorseette (9:27:50 PM): what did the letter say?
Pottyato (9:28:02 PM): I had been running for debate president, and likely to win
Pottyato (9:28:14 PM): the election happened a week after I got dropped
Pottyato (9:28:24 PM): I don't remember exactly
Pottyato (9:28:30 PM): it was like three paragraphs
Pottyato (9:29:02 PM): the first one said how inexcusable my behavior had been (because she totally askked my side of the story and everything)
Pottyato (9:29:13 PM): the second gave me the details of my expulsion
Pottyato (9:29:53 PM): and the third one told me that she hoped I could find success in other endeavers and be proud of my past participation in debate
Pottyato (9:30:02 PM): sincerely yours, lynette
jesushorseette (9:30:36 PM): how harsh
Pottyato (9:30:44 PM): yeah
Pottyato (9:30:57 PM): and I never said a mean word to her
Pottyato (9:31:05 PM): I smile at her when we pass in the hall
Pottyato (9:31:16 PM): she avoids my eyes
Pottyato (9:31:38 PM): I asked her to help me proofread my personal statement for college at the beginning of this year
Pottyato (9:31:46 PM): she told me she was too busy and refused
Pottyato (9:31:57 PM): later I found out she had helped emily raymond with hers
Pottyato (9:32:15 PM): (not in any of her classes either, but in good standing with the team)
jesushorseette (9:32:26 PM): :-\
Pottyato (9:33:46 PM): ...yeah, I'm gonna give myself arthritis
jesushorseette (9:34:15 PM): :-(
Pottyato (9:35:00 PM): or whatever it is when your fingers get cramped
Pottyato (9:35:07 PM): you type for a while

(3 rants | Bitch and moan PLEASE!)

Monday, March 27th, 2006
4:31 am
Jackass of the Day
Senator Joe McCarthy:
"I have a list of 212 known Communists in the State Department!"

(Bitch and moan PLEASE!)

Sunday, March 26th, 2006
4:28 am
Badass of the Day
Mario Puzo:
"A lawyer with a briefcase can steal more than a thousand men with guns."

(Bitch and moan PLEASE!)

Saturday, March 25th, 2006
4:21 am
Jackass of the Day
Michael Savage:
"Don't talk about the majority of bums who live in tin huts, they shouldn't even vote...anyone who goes on welfare should lose their right to vote, they are parasites."

(Bitch and moan PLEASE!)

Friday, March 24th, 2006
1:46 pm
Badass of the Day
General George Patton Jr:
"No bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country."

(Bitch and moan PLEASE!)

Thursday, March 23rd, 2006
4:57 pm
Jackass of the Day
Will Ferrel:
"James Caan told me at the end of filming 'Elf' that he had been waiting through the whole film for me to be funny - and I never was."

(Bitch and moan PLEASE!)

Wednesday, March 22nd, 2006
4:55 pm
Badass of the Day
Marcel Marceau:
"Never get a mime talking. He won't stop."

(Bitch and moan PLEASE!)

Tuesday, March 21st, 2006
4:47 pm
Jackass of the Day
Tom Cruise:
“Talk is over-rated as a means of settling disputes.”

(Bitch and moan PLEASE!)

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